What are you left with when everything changes?
An enduring spirit, a stronger connection with yourself and your higher power
A person still has everything because change is constant, and we adapt in order to embrace and accept that change. It would be a boring, and less stimulating and challenging life without change.
What if change involves major losses all at the same time? Divorce, Family of origin estrangement, loss of past friends... Relatives, siblings? That would be traumatic. Perhaps we would look inside to find internal strength, our sense of self, and the resilience and motivation to begin to rebuild not what we have lost, but something new.
Eve, your answer works for me. Maybe for
Victor Frankl...
My clients over the past 40 years find this to be true,
after they recover from the immediate trauma. At least
that's what we look for together.
Great question.
Change, although exciting is usually very scary for people. To delve into the unknown and into a place we aren't as comfortable in can be unnverving. It usually is very hard for people to change because innertia is very hard to overcome and it takes a lot of energy to do.
Given that, when a person does change, they still have skills, memories, results, etc. that still exist and cannot be undone. Those don't change.
Change is constant and nothing remains the same. When we can understand and accept this we can see the potential in any change. Even painful change provides opportunities to experience our strengths, develop deeper relationships, spiritual transformation. Likewise, change can be an opportunity to address fears and lack of connection in our lives. It's not change that is inherently difficult, it's what we do with change. When someone is having a particularly difficult time with any change in life, professional guidance and support can be very helpful.
"What are you left with when everything changes?"
I'm left with thoughts: about what precipitated the change; how will the change effect my life right now and in the foreseeable future; what steps do I need to take to protect myself both physically and emotionally. If I'm patient, time always shows me whether or not any change is beneficial to me, and if the change isn't working out for me, I'm left with more reflections on what needs to be adjusted in my life to eventually get things onto an "even keel."
All change is precipitous by nature, whether it's positive or negative, benign or traumatic. The issue is how resilient the person experiencing the change is. Even people that win the lottery can find the experience at first thrilling and then traumatic. Alternatively, people that have gone through great loss, like that of a parent, can grieve and then suddenly be filled with loving and tender memories that will get them through the grieving period.
Having professional guidance and support will certainly benefit the person, as Ms. Brown McNally suggested. But how does one work with those that find the change traumatic and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel? Moreover is there an "outreach" system that can reach patients that don't have the resources available to them (money, accessibility to mental health care, etc.)? Great question Eve.
Depending on the level of change; and, after much anger and angst, one eventually comes to the understanding that there are really some things that can't be controlled .e.g. Loss of a loved one precipitates massive changes in one's life. How this is dealt with can be the beginning of long term personal dysfunction ; or, it can be the catalyst to new beginnings. So, what is one left with ? Humility and the need to start over.
I think that Eve may have answered her own question quite well. Even during the worst of times, we will grieve and we shall heal; but in the final determination if you have "an enduring spirit, a stronger connection with yourself and your higher power," then you will probably do OK.
Change is immediate and constant, so the best that we can hope for is that it is mostly for the positive.
