Bullying

"When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?" -- Eleanor Roosevelt


Bullying

By Eve Brownstone, MA, LCPC


My seventh grade teacher’s advice to me, “Eve if you don’t react they will stop teasing.”

I was a sensitive twelve year old. I would cry. A bully would say something to me and I would start crying right in my seat. Looking back I wished I could have used humor or have had the strength to give it right back to them. It would have been more fun to be the “class clown” than the “class victim”

Coming from Chicago to Akron, I didn’t know anybody. I didn’t wash my hair everyday or wear fancy clothes. I was coming from Hyde Park and the Chicago Children’s Choir to the bowling capital of the world and the middle of the Bible Belt.

I tried to get out of class as much as possible in seventh grade. I’d tell my teachers I wasn’t feeling well, which would be taken up by bullies who would say, ”Eve is woozy.” The guidance counselor and I got to know each real well.

I hear about kids today killing themselves because of bullying and adults just standing by letting it happen. It doesn’t make me cry anymore. It infuriates me.

Somehow these bullies learn that their behavior is justified or “okay”. They continue to harass the families even after the young person killed himself or herself. I am glad those nine students in Massachusetts are arrested.

It troubles me that these young people felt like they didn’t have an option. The psychopathic bullies won then.

After years of bullying, I could have felt reduced to a nothing, just mush on the floor. I know today, some of my self-doubt comes from the taunting. I guess what helped me was getting involved with choir, performing and lots of therapy. Having a loving family and some close friends also helped. I also used to walk and jog a lot. I remember my walks to Summit Mall on Saturdays. I’d work out my frustration pounding the pavement. I still do.

I believe that if you are still alive things can change and get better. I guess that belief ultimately was what kept me going in Junior High School. My hope kept me moving on.

If I were to have some of those bullies in front of me today I would say:

“ You missed out on knowing a very special person. I didn’t let your taunting and harassment stop me from having the kind of life I want. I truly believe in myself.”

Then I would laugh and beam with all the Devine light inside of me. One by one the bullies would become charming and kind men and they would dance with me. They wouldn’t be able to help themselves.

I don’t want revenge.

I want more hearts to open and more love in this world.

I think young people who use their energy to hurt and bully others are missing the mark on life. They don’t feel loved and can’t love. They need love.


That may sound to mushy. Being vulnerable and compassionate are signs of strength. It is a waste of my time to hold on to my anger and rage. I got a lot out of therapy. I want to use my energy to heal, love and create. I want my anger to move me into action for the better like writing this article.

I wish you peace, action, an ability to laugh out loud, a voice to say ”no” and a loving hand to hold.